As adults, the system is firmly planted into the psyche. Under stress, in a crisis, we fall back on the familiar, safe and dysfunctional System. We can come to know it and accept it, or we can fight it – and lose.
So how do we come to know our System? Look for your patterns of behaviour, especially the ones that do not make sense. Look for anomalies between your perception of the world and reality. (For help with this, ask a friend or see a counselor.)
Example: A child is born with an innate wisdom; an ability to see clearly. He speaks what he sees and is told he is wrong. In fact his parents get angry with him for speaking what he sees. He cannot doubt the parents’ word, so he must doubt his own and creates a System based on the rule, “I am stupid.” Now all makes sense.
The child grows into a man, still carrying his System. He has a university degree, is respected at work, but he acknowledges none of it. All he can see is he is stupid. No facts can shake his conviction. So when he makes a mistake, it is not a mistake, but further proof of his stupidity. Successes are ignored as they do not fit into his System.
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