The aim of Radical Acceptance is to ensure that in accepting all of who we are, we do not become “doormats”. Events need a response; even if the response is entirely inward. If the action is external, you to may need to set a boundary, change how you behave or make a change in how you relate to another. If the action is internal, you may need to withdraw energy from your past or future or change how you live your life based on new knowledge acquired in the last two steps.

This step is not about acting, but about planning. A plan is about thinking through options, considering the pro’s and con’s to each option and selecting one of the options. This step requires awareness of the child and his or her desires coupled with the adult. Failure to honour the child archetype leads to the child going underground. Failure to bring in the adult leads to the choice that most appeals to the child. The child’s choice is likely to be short term gain for long term pain. The adult will choose the option best designed to address the issue at hand. Pain and gain are not as important as making the decision based on careful thought and principles.